My testimony

I used to have a HORRIBLE time controlling my temper. I used to be a terrible shouter. I used to shout ALL THE TIME. Daily. There were times when I would shout almost hourly. And I used to liberally lace my language with words that would make a sailor blush with shame. But I had three things happen to me that helped me get over my shouting and swearing days. I got pregnant. My birth mother came back into my life after not having seen her in 13 years, and I was told by the doctors that the seizures that I had been struggling with would eventually kill me, and that I should make my will and prepare for my death. At that point, I had twice ended up in the hospital on a ventilator because I had stopped breathing while I was seizing.

That led me to take a good hard look at my life and the kind of person that I was. My birth mother got me to go to church for the first time in a VERY long time (the whole "what happens after I'm dead" was something that I was thinking about a LOT, for some strange reason). I was also thinking about the kind of person my child was going to end up being. After some intense self-reflection, I came to the conclusion that I DID NOT want my child growing up to be like me. You know the saying: If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. Well, I was the horrible warning, and I knew that if I didn't want my child to grow up to be just like me, then I had to change. It was that simple. But it was also VERY hard. Thank the good Lord that he promises to help you through the hard times, that he would CARRY you through them. And boy did he ever. I hadn't even asked Jesus to come and be my Lord and Savior yet, but I did start praying and asking God for help with the difficult things. He sent someone into my life who gave me her bible. Funny thing is, the very first thing that I read was this:

Isaiah 46:4
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

Powerful words for someone in my position!! When I opened that Bible, THAT was the place that "just happened" to fall open. Those were the first words on the page. And that started my ongoing pursuit of the things of God.

And He's been faithful, even when I wasn't as faithful as I could have been. Since then, He's been faithful to heal me. I no longer even have seizures, let alone life-threatening ones. That child that I got pregnant with is now a beautiful outgoing FAITHFUL 14 year old. And the changes in me are unbelievable. I don't swear or curse. I am cheerful 90% of the time, and joyful. So incredibly joyful. I no longer rely on the world for my peace of mind. I KNOW that God is sitting on His throne and that one day Jesus will return to the earth and collect all those people who follow Him faithfully and that ALL of His followers will go to heaven, and nothing bad will EVER happen to them again. Satan will be vanquished and he will no longer bother anyone EXCEPT the people that go to hell with him. But everyone who loves Jesus and follow His commands will go to heaven with Him and be with the One who loves us best. He loved us enough to DIE for us. I don't know about you, but when someone loves me THAT much, that's where I want to spend eternity.

And I SURE don't wanna go to the place where I'm under the rule of someone who HATES me!!! I think I'll go follow Jesus. How about you??